The Freedom to Obey (Part 2)

Step by step, I climbed up the ladder. I looked straight ahead. I did not want to look down! I thought to myself, "Hey, this isn't so bad. The ladder is stable and I am slowly going up." As I climbed, I saw more and more tree branches while the people got smaller and smaller. Suddenly, I arrived to the step before the final one. I hesitated. Temptation sept in and I looked down. For the first time during the climb, I was scared. I thought to myself "What if I fall?" and I held tighter to the ladder.

Although I don't recall everything at that moment, I do remember hearing a voice from below say, "Just try to go up that last step and see how it feels." Hesitantly, I followed the person's advice and I climbed up that final step. At that precise moment, I was ecstatic. I couldn't believe I had gone up that final step! I was so happy that I pushed myself from the ladder and instantaneously floated in mid-air, held by very vigilant harness rope holders. As I descended to the ground, I pondered about what just happened but as the activities of the retreat continued, I soon forgot about the incident.

The next day, we drove back home and that night I could not sleep. I kept thinking about the ladder activity and about the homegroup talk we had the week prior about getting Egypt out of the Israelites. As I tossed and turned, I kept hearing the recurring phrase: "To obey you need to let go." I wasn't sure what that meant exactly. My natural mind thought that if to let go means to free yourself from something and in order to obey you need freedom, then freedom and obedience contradict each other. However, I knew that couldn't be right because I continued to have this phrase "follow" me throughout the week.

Yesterday, as I continued to ponder on this phrase, I thought again about the ladder and the story of Moses bringing the Israelites into the wilderness. I realized that they were both related! Praise God!

As the students went up the ladder, many hesitated to go up the final step. Why? Clearly, everyone in the group made sure that they were doing their part. Furthermore, why did I hesitate on that final step when I had been a guideline and a harness rope holder and knew what both encompassed?

I realized that although it was not an ideal situation (e.g., up in a ladder in mid-air), I had very quickly adapted to that awkward scenario. It must have been instinct that caused you to adjust to the ladder steps. Was it possible that the Israelites had grown accustomed to the mistreatments by the Egyptians? I then pondered more about getting to the final step and letting go of the ladder. Why was I scared? Even as I was told to obey and let go, I hesitated. Maybe the Israelites were also afraid to take a leap of faith and let go of what they knew, even if it was not the best situation. The ironic part was that the Israelites were so close to dwelling with God! So close and yet when the final step came, they hesitated.

And then I thought that I should be proud that I let go of the ladder because I was able to see the consequences of my actions: an exciting and unforgettable experience. What would have happened if the Israelites had "let go of Egypt" and obeyed God's desire to dwell in them? Things for sure would have been very different.

I can't help but think how many times in our lives have we been close to a breakthrough in our relationship with God and yet when we get to that final step, we hesitate. If to "obey you need to let go", how many strongholds in our lives prevent us from obeying God's will? How many times and how long must we stand in that final step before we can truly have the freedom to obey?