God: My Healer, My Helper (Part 3-Final)

We moved thanks to the help of many friends and 3 weeks later, I had my regular appointment with the OBGYN. During that appointment, I found out that I was going to have a girl. Can you believe it? A baby girl. Although I did not know the sex of the baby at the time, one of the things I was praying for was for the baby’s health. That afternoon, the doctor said, “Well, it seems that the lumps in your baby’s brain are dissolving. That is a good sign.” I said, “What? Wait a minute. What is going on?” She said that in my last appointment, the technicians had noticed some lumps forming in the baby’s brain. They did not tell me anything because they did not want to worry me. Then she added, “These things happen to some women. Usually, they go away in time. And in this case, it seems like they are going away.” At home, I cried in gratitude. Although this may be normal in the baby’s development, I still got worried. After all, this is my first child and I don’t know about these things. Then, I realized that God has been keeping His promise. He is watching over my baby’s health! Holy is His mercy!

This past weekend, two friends came for a visit. They had mentioned that they were coming to bring some gifts for the baby. That Friday, in spite of having a really draining weekend (emotionally, physically), I awaited for them. To my surprise, the gifts were huge. In a nut shell, I received practically the entire components to the baby’s room, at no cost to us. This experience helped me learn that God always provides. God is so amazing!

A few days ago, I stumbled upon Psalms 30:2. In it David says to the Lord, ”O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.” Usually, I would have interpreted this as physical healing but this verse spoke to me and reminded me in what ways has God healed me in the past couple of months. He has healed me from stress, anxiety, worry, and doubt. In addition, even when I did not see what was lying ahead (apartments, baby’s health), God was taking care of it. He healed all the cracks that were in my life. And although, there are still many uncertainties in what lies ahead, somehow, based on what has happened in these past months, I know that God has got it covered. Thank God that we can cast all our worries upon Him. I am so grateful to Him and what He has done.

I hope that my experience can reassure you that no matter how many problems or uncertainties you have in your life, that God has it covered. God Bless You!

God: My Healer, My Helper (Part 2)

Along with the decision of keeping the baby, came the decision of having a responsible life. Now, we had to move to a bigger apartment, we couldn’t delve into the additional expenses we used to have. And our jobs, well, we had to pretty much “suck a lemon” and deal with it. We are still unhappy with our jobs but now, money is essential for the baby so we are not in the position to complain. I cried at this realization: “I am giving up my dreams and dream-job for my child.” This may not be something that is critical for others, but it was for me. I had worked really hard at school to have the “luxury” of looking for a job I liked. Now, I don’t have that privilege. Our first priority was to seek a bigger apartment or townhome. We did an extensive search for about a month and a half and had found a really nice townhome that we wanted. We liked the area, the price was a bit higher but was do-able. We even got pre-approved to rent the townhome. However, as we were doing budget and considering the costs of having a child, we realized that this price was not reasonable for our family. So, we asked the owners if they were willing to take the price down. For 2 weeks, we received no answer. Anyone, could safely assume that the owners hesitated on our request.

We decided that maybe we should start the search again, in case the owner’s answer was “No.” We began searching. Day in and day out for another 2 weeks, we looked at apartments. However, none of them were available. I was begin to get anxious. I was dealing with a stressful working environment (let’s just say that my pregnancy was not well received by everyone) and the realization that in less than 3 weeks we would be homeless. I cried and asked God to help but everywhere I went, another door closed. Door after door, I got more and more anxious. Finally, I broke down. I said to God, “All right, you win. I have tried everything in my power and I can’t find anything. I give up.” That same day, I decided to call my sister. She found an announcement for an apartment available only for that day. I went and a few hours later, I signed the lease to our new apartment! Glory be to God!

God: My Healer, My Helper (Part I)

You know, it has been a while since I have written anything in the blog. Mainly because life has happened: between moving, feeling sick, and dealing with the demands of life and work, I have not had the time to write. Today, I will talk about what has transpired in the past few months and the conclusion that I got just now. This blog may be subdivided into several parts, so hang in to your seats.

Ever since I moved to Maryland, I have been stressed and unhappy. Don’t get me wrong…I love the people I have met but I have not been happy with my job or the fast-paced lifestyle. My husband too has been unhappy about the same things. When I started my job, two months had not passed when I started to seek something else. I was desperate. I wanted to do a job I loved. I searched, met with people, and have even had interviews but all the doors seem to close in my face. I was upset. I had always believed that if I help myself first, God could do the rest.

And then, life happened. I found out I was expecting. This was both exciting and nerve-wrecking. I wasn’t ready to embrace motherhood and what it involved. For the first 3 months, I became depressed (yes, that vile word that everyone can relate to and should not allow themselves to be dominated by). I felt trapped. I had always heard from other family members and “friends” that it was my body and that I can abort a child if I wanted to. Those thoughts streamed to my head constantly. Of course, getting rid of it would be easy. I would not have to change my lifestyle and things could go back to normal. Yet, as a newborn Christian, I could not do it. I could not conceive the thought of giving away a gift from God, of rejecting His Love in human form. So, despite my depression and dark thoughts, I decided to keep the baby.