The Wounded Healer (Part 1)

The world is hurting. Plain and simple. Life is getting more complicated, more demanding, and more and more people are being treated for stress-induced diseases than ever. Did you know that a 15 year old today have stress levels of a mid-life adult in the 1960's? That speaks volumes of the world that we are living in. As a consequence we are all wounded.

This becomes especially difficult to believers such as ourselves to confront. How can we as Christians heal others when we ourselves are wounded? In this blog, I hope to learn about what other Christians have to say. Let's hope that all those wounded warriors, will rise and pose healing solutions to others in pain.

Gifts=Love?

As the holidays near, I realize that many people get more and more stressed. I am sure many can relate: bills piling, more gifts to buy, and less time to enjoy. Why do we stress so much? I remember that growing up as a child, we didn't have the most expensive gifts or the most modern toys. We we just happy to spend time with each other and play with what little toys we had. Since when have gifts become synonymous with love?

Jesus talks about loving each other but never does He mention to buy gifts to each other to show love. In this holiday, remember what is important. Sometimes a heartfelt card, a batch of homemade cookies, or a simple "I love you" is enough to warm anyone's hearts. Let's not forget what is really important during the holidays.

I choose to believe in miracles

For over 20 years, I have prayed for my family. Many of them to this day are not saved. Days, months, and years have passed with the all too familiar words "What else could happen?" or "That's life". It is almost as if they expect the worse to happen. Maybe it is a cultural thing but ever since I was a kid, I was taught that problems were simply a part of everyday life. This is a good lesson to learn but an incomplete one, in my opinion. For every problem, we have a choice: we can choose to allow the problems to consume us or we can choose to use the power and authority that God has given us to rebuke them. It doesn't mean that the problem will disappear; it simply means that we have the authority to not allow the problem(s) to affect us in any way, shape, or form.

Recently, I have been led to go back to basics. I started to re-read "Believer's Authority" by Kenneth Hagin. It that book, Kenneth speaks about the authority we have in Christ and refers the reader to Ephesians Chapters 1-3. The author recommends that we read this day and night and to use it as part of our daily prayers. I had done this a few years ago, including in my prayers, my family members. After a while, however, I stopped. The daily prayer became a weekly prayer, then a monthly until eventually it got shelved along with the many items of my "to do list".

For about a year now, I have been under constant attack by the enemy, my flesh, and my mind. It has been quite a struggle for me. However, as I said in the past 2 blogs, you have to continue to serve God and praise Him "in spite of" your circumstances. About a month ago, I had the unique opportunity to talk to my sister. In our conversation, I asked her if she wanted to accept Jesus into her life. To my surprise, she said "Yes". We prayed together and the miracle happened: her salvation. During Thanksgiving weekend, my mother called and told me that she witnessed an event that can only be defined as a miracle. She told me that after the event, a Christian woman told her to believe that God can perform miracles. As she told me the story over the phone, she said "If it is in God's will, miracles can happen." I corrected her and told her that "Miracles do happen because it is God's will".

I firmly believe that the shackles and chain of oppression, sickness, and any other attack from the enemy are broken, if we speak in authority over them. I believe that we have authority in Christ to trample under our feet the serpent, to bind our souls (mind and flesh), and that God will always show us the miracle of His love through scripture, the church, and other people. I choose to believe in miracles. Do you believe in miracles?

The "If Onlys"

To continue from the last blog, I mentioned that in spite of your feelings and your flesh, you need to persevere in your walk with Christ. You may think "easier said than done." You may scoff at this and think that you just don't have time for Him.

Life, at times gets so overwhelming, that sadly our walk with Him diminishes. Lately, I have felt a strong hunger and desire to walk with God. I want to walk with God "in spite of" and not through the "if onlys". Let me explain myself. When life's demands increase, we think "if only I had the time to serve God" or "if only I had my bills in order and working overtime becomes a thing of the past" or "if only I was single and without kids, I would be in church 24-7." Recently, I spoke to a good friend of mine and mother of 5. She spoke to me about how she manages her time with God "in spite of" all her responsibilities. When she showers, she plays gospel music. While she cooks, she turns on the TV to hear the word of God, while she drives to the grocery store, she plays CDs with the message of God. Before her children go to bed, she prays for them. While she performs her daily duties, she is in constant communication and in meditation of His Word.

Wow! This is a life of "in spite of". I just realized that I can still walk with God "in spite of" our problems, our lives, and our feelings. Joshua 1:8 says "Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful." (NIV)
I am not going to give up on God and I exhort you to do the same. Make your walk with Him happen "in spite of" and not on the sidelines of the "if onlys".

The follow-up

It has been a while since I have written a blog. Maybe because I was discouraged that few have read it or maybe because of the overwhelming, sometimes choking events of life. All I know is that I have a need to write. To write my thoughts, my struggles, and my discoveries as I progress as a Christian, a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, and human being.

I realize now that we have many roles in our lives. Sometimes those roles engulf our lives and don't allow us to fully enjoy the wonderful things that God has provided. Last weekend I was in a women's conference and although it was a wonderful experience, I was very burdened. I recall meeting another woman from church and seeing in her eyes a deep seeded tiredness that I could relate to. Being a professional mom is not easy. Being a reliable, professional mom is even harder. There are so many commitments that I need to follow through and so many tasks that I need to finish. Consequently, I have experienced incredible remorse. I miss my family. I miss hugging my baby. I miss my husband. And most of all, I miss having time with God. The last statement rings so true to my heart that at times, I wonder if everything we fight for is really helping us know God on a deeper level.

Last week I found out that there is a big possibility that my father has cancer. What hurts me the most from this announcement is that I didn't hear this from him. He refuses to tell my siblings and I about his situation. This is hard for me because I want to have to opportunity to talk to him about God's healing power but I can't do that if he won't talk to me. As a result, I have felt alone and without an avenue to express my sorrow and frustration.

A few minutes ago, I received a comment to one of my blogs from last year. As I began reading my past blogs, I was reminded that despite all the changes in my life (Joshua 1:9), that God has been with me at all times. I know that He is a healer and that His purposes are greater than my own. Ephesians 1:11 says that "In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will." I know God has a plan. Even if I don't see it. Even if it doesn't feel right. God knows the desires of my heart and He knows the desires of yours.

I guess deep in my gut, I know everything will work out for His glory. I just need to tell myself in these hard times to be strong in Him, to carry His joy even when my flesh and soul mourns. I can only imagine what Paul must have felt writing and encouraging so many people with his letters. I wonder if the same people that received healing from his writings reciprocated to Paul. I assume that the numbers did not match. But Paul had Jesus by His side to sustain him, to lift him up in times of trouble, and to encourage him whenever it seemed there was no solution. And thanks to Jesus's sacrifice, so do we.

God: My Healer, My Helper (Part 3-Final)

We moved thanks to the help of many friends and 3 weeks later, I had my regular appointment with the OBGYN. During that appointment, I found out that I was going to have a girl. Can you believe it? A baby girl. Although I did not know the sex of the baby at the time, one of the things I was praying for was for the baby’s health. That afternoon, the doctor said, “Well, it seems that the lumps in your baby’s brain are dissolving. That is a good sign.” I said, “What? Wait a minute. What is going on?” She said that in my last appointment, the technicians had noticed some lumps forming in the baby’s brain. They did not tell me anything because they did not want to worry me. Then she added, “These things happen to some women. Usually, they go away in time. And in this case, it seems like they are going away.” At home, I cried in gratitude. Although this may be normal in the baby’s development, I still got worried. After all, this is my first child and I don’t know about these things. Then, I realized that God has been keeping His promise. He is watching over my baby’s health! Holy is His mercy!

This past weekend, two friends came for a visit. They had mentioned that they were coming to bring some gifts for the baby. That Friday, in spite of having a really draining weekend (emotionally, physically), I awaited for them. To my surprise, the gifts were huge. In a nut shell, I received practically the entire components to the baby’s room, at no cost to us. This experience helped me learn that God always provides. God is so amazing!

A few days ago, I stumbled upon Psalms 30:2. In it David says to the Lord, ”O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.” Usually, I would have interpreted this as physical healing but this verse spoke to me and reminded me in what ways has God healed me in the past couple of months. He has healed me from stress, anxiety, worry, and doubt. In addition, even when I did not see what was lying ahead (apartments, baby’s health), God was taking care of it. He healed all the cracks that were in my life. And although, there are still many uncertainties in what lies ahead, somehow, based on what has happened in these past months, I know that God has got it covered. Thank God that we can cast all our worries upon Him. I am so grateful to Him and what He has done.

I hope that my experience can reassure you that no matter how many problems or uncertainties you have in your life, that God has it covered. God Bless You!

God: My Healer, My Helper (Part 2)

Along with the decision of keeping the baby, came the decision of having a responsible life. Now, we had to move to a bigger apartment, we couldn’t delve into the additional expenses we used to have. And our jobs, well, we had to pretty much “suck a lemon” and deal with it. We are still unhappy with our jobs but now, money is essential for the baby so we are not in the position to complain. I cried at this realization: “I am giving up my dreams and dream-job for my child.” This may not be something that is critical for others, but it was for me. I had worked really hard at school to have the “luxury” of looking for a job I liked. Now, I don’t have that privilege. Our first priority was to seek a bigger apartment or townhome. We did an extensive search for about a month and a half and had found a really nice townhome that we wanted. We liked the area, the price was a bit higher but was do-able. We even got pre-approved to rent the townhome. However, as we were doing budget and considering the costs of having a child, we realized that this price was not reasonable for our family. So, we asked the owners if they were willing to take the price down. For 2 weeks, we received no answer. Anyone, could safely assume that the owners hesitated on our request.

We decided that maybe we should start the search again, in case the owner’s answer was “No.” We began searching. Day in and day out for another 2 weeks, we looked at apartments. However, none of them were available. I was begin to get anxious. I was dealing with a stressful working environment (let’s just say that my pregnancy was not well received by everyone) and the realization that in less than 3 weeks we would be homeless. I cried and asked God to help but everywhere I went, another door closed. Door after door, I got more and more anxious. Finally, I broke down. I said to God, “All right, you win. I have tried everything in my power and I can’t find anything. I give up.” That same day, I decided to call my sister. She found an announcement for an apartment available only for that day. I went and a few hours later, I signed the lease to our new apartment! Glory be to God!